Nabil Houari

People in poverty live with invasive noises. In Algeria, they subordinate women and decay mental health.

This podcast is about the sound of Apartheid in Algeria: Stories and witnesses about the effect of sound on our lives.

References

American Muslims for Palestine (n.d.). “What is Apartheid?” and “Racial Discrimination and Apartheid in the Israeli-Palestinian Context.” https://www.ampalestine.org/palestine-101/key- opics/apartheid/whatapartheid o https://www.ampalestine.org/palestine-101/key-topics/apartheid/apartheid-qa-al-haq

Murray Schafer, R. (1992). Introduction. In A Sound Education: 100 Exercises in Listening and Sound-making (p. 7–12). Indiana River (Ontario, Canada): Arcana Editions. Retrieved from: https://monoskop.org/images/7/7b/Schafer_R_Murray_A_Sound_Education_100_Exercises_in_Listening_and_Soundmaking.pdf

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“I was nearly pathologically afraid of abandonment and so I’d repeatedly picked people who were absolutely incapable of giving me what I needed, to ensure I was never really at risk of substantial loss.”

“I’m abandoning everything! everything! and that way I won’t be abandoned-”

“I’m so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything.”

“I crave touch, yet I flinch every time someone is close enough. I have become rather fearful I suppose.”

“I had two longings and one was fighting the other. I wanted to be loved and I wanted to be always alone.”

“The way sometimes I want both to be looked at and disappear.”

“The loneliness of feeling unseen by others is as fundamental a pain as physical injury, but it doesn’t show on the outside. Emotional loneliness is a vague and private experience, not easy to see or describe.”

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I had a nightmare today.

A woman in their 40s.

Listening to me and a friend play a cute love song on guitar.

My friend pinches me and points at her.

She’s in her computer flipping through pictures of herself when she was young.

Remembering her lovers and when she could be loved.

I remember all the lovers that looked at me.

And the girls I looked at.

I remember my mother.

Showing me pictures of her on the swimming team.

Asking me who I think the prettiest girl on the bench is.

It is a strange thing to love and experience love in youth.

We all want to dwell in it.

We all want to feel it.

Before it fades away with the lines of our faces.

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Nabil Houari

Nabil Houari

In the lines between fiction and reality. I blog about being both sensitive and evil.